The Family Who Shaves Heads Together Stays Together
- May 09, 2017
- Theresa Bertuzzi
Last night was family fun night or as we like to call it “Shave Mommy’s Head Night Because Her Shedding Hair Is Driving Us All Nuts!” Yes we all gathered in the bathroom so that Danny could shave off the remainder of what was left of the hair on my head. The Immunosuppressants that I have been on allowed all of my hair to grow back. I hadn’t seen it in years and it was really nice to have it back but as I explained in http://www.beautifullybrokenblogger.com/hair-today-gone-tomorrow/ as my medications are being lowered my immune system is acting up again and my hair has been falling out.
When you picture someone’s hair falling out I don’t think you can fully imagine the huge mess it makes. I had A LOT of thick hair to lose. This means that basically my house and family have been covered in hair for the past few months. The drains in our tubs and showers were hit the hardest and it has become routine for Danny to pour Liquid Plumber down the drains every weekend so that they all start running again because they are clogged with my ever shedding hair. My pillow case, bed and Pyjamas are constantly full of hair. My clothing during the day are normally saved as my wig keeps the majority of the shedding inside but when I pull it off at the end of the day and rub my hands through my hair it looks like I am wearing fur mittens. The hair has also made its way into everyone’s clothing as I shed while doing laundry which means that everyone has been whining about finding itchy hair in all of their personal spaces. It is a common happening in our house for someone to suddenly reach into their pants, pull out a hair and then yell “MOM!!!!!” My hair also looked terrible like I was stepping out of some horror movie or like a dog with Mange. We all agreed it was time to shave the remainder off and this time the kids wanted in on it too.
The first time I had to shave the last of my hair off I cried my heart out the whole time but this time the children made the experience much more entertaining and no tears were shed; well maybe a couple while I was alone in the tub afterwards but nobody saw those so they shouldn’t count. The kids perched on the side of the tub, I sat on the lid of the toilet and Danny pulled out the razor. Even the dog was in there watching. Poor little guy was upset throughout the whole haircut. I think he thought I was getting groomed and he hates being groomed. We covered the floor with an old towel to make sure that the hair did not go everywhere. Then we listened to my two youngest as they argued over who was going to shave mommy’s head. Like I was ever going to give them a sharp object and let them go at my scalp! LOL We quickly ended that argument by explaining that Daddy was the safer choice although I worded it like “If you think I am going to let you two ding-a-lings go at my head with a razor you are crazy!”
We decided that we were going to do this in stages this time as the kids all agreed that they wanted to see Mom with a Mohawk. I pretended to agree to be nice to them but seriously I wanted to see what I looked like with a Mohawk too. I don’t mean to brag but I looked awesome with a Mohawk. Seriously, it didn’t look that bad at all! LOL If it wasn’t for all of the shedding I would have kept it for a while and dyed it hot pink too.
Then the kids decided they needed to see the Mohawk with the back completely shaved off; party in the front, nothing in the back. So we tried that and it sent the kids into hysterics. This hairdo did not look awesome at all, although it had us laughing so hard we were crying. Then everyone agreed that I looked like Yondu from the Guardian’s of the Galaxy so the kids wanted me to keep this hairdo since they think Yondu rocks! Not the look I’m really going for!
Next up we decided to gather up a small pony tail in the middle and shave off the rest of the front leaving me with only a small tuft on top. To which my middle son announced OMG! You look like one of those sumo wrestlers!” I did too! Then he took it too far when he said “Actually, you look like that monster guy in the Goonies!” The sad part was that I kind of did. Although hilarious, this was now getting insulting as my family was exploding with laughter while examining my head. It was time to shave it all off so Danny quickly zipped off the last of it.
Yet the hilarity did not end as it was now time to go at the prickly parts with the non-electric razor. We poured shaving cream on my head and lathered it up like a sundae without the cherry on top. This started a whole new round of laughter and Danny and I both went to work with the razors while the children yelled directions from their perch on the tub. Once it was all off you would think the teasing would be done but “nope.” You see when you still have some patchy spots of hair, even when you shave the hair right down to the scalp, you can still see the spots that haven’t fallen out yet. We all agreed that my pale head now looked like a globe and everyone had fun pointing out how the patchy spots all looked like different continents on my scalp. “Look, this one looks like a boot! We’ve got Italy over here on the side!” Nice!
Even with all of the teasing it was a much more pleasant experience this time round and I can thank my children for managing to turn something horrible into a hilarious and fun night. Although I do have to think of a way to get back at my middle kid for that Goonies comment. Little bugger!